Growing up, I was ever-changing, ever-evolving, adapting to my surroundings. My voice was often unheard, my needs neglected, yet I survived. The childhood home I once knew echoed with volatile behavior and criminal activity, starkly contrasting with the vibrant world I yearned for. I would always be taking the subway somewhere or walking to Shore Road to look out at the Manhattan skyline. I felt isolated because I wasn’t like my family. Yet, amidst the shadows, a spark of resilience flickered. I wouldn't let my past define me.
For years, I carried the weight of those experiences, the pain a constant companion. I always picked men who took advantage of me by feeding off my insecurities. But somewhere along the way, a different story began to unfold. I sought help, embarking on a journey of healing, one step at a time. I acquired a support system that became a haven, a space to understand the roots of my pain and begin to untangle the complexities of my past.
I surrounded myself with individuals who valued me and saw my worth beyond my experiences. I discovered passions that ignited a fire within, such as my love of education, and learning that allowed me to express myself freely. Slowly, I began to reclaim my narrative, weaving new threads of hope, resilience, and self-love into the fabric of my being.
South Brooklyn, NY, where I grew up until my early 40’s once a symbol of the past's hold, became a testament to my transformation. The journey of healing is a lifelong process, a continuous dance with the remnants of the past. There will be days when the shadows seem to return, threatening to engulf me again. But I have learned to face them, armed with the tools I have gathered on my journey.
The scars remain, a reminder of the battles fought and lessons learned. But they no longer define me. They stand as a testament to my ever-changing, ever-evolving spirit, and my unwavering belief in a future filled with light and love.
I will not let my past define me. I am the author of my own story, and I choose to write a future filled with resilience, strength, and self-acceptance.